So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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