friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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