I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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