there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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