I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
