I think i peed on brittanys purse
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
