Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
