also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
thus making me awesome and them whores
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I haven't been this sober since birth.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
