I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
