i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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