Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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