i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
