can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
