who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
organizing the empties. That sober.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Shame - the story of my life.
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