So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
