dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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