i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
The feeling are messing with the penis
I think weed is turning my hair brown
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
