She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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