someone get that fucking seahorse.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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