You're so nebulous sometimes
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
