i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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