i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize