Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
