Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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