Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
