Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
