No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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