It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
