I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
