you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
