They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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