he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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