so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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