i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
