Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
