I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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