Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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