he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize