I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
id be glad to
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
