i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
