I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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