We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
