Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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