Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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