Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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