do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
