He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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