Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
