The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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