I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Can I color on your dick again?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
