i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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