is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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