all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
