Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize