I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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